Why Goal-Setting Is Not Working For You.


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In a recent post, I mentioned the idea that setting resolutions and relying on sheer willpower to make them happen is a losing game.

I know most people like to believe they are strong, however they are only fooling themselves: willpower has very little to do with success, energetics is what really counts.

This week I want to share more on the topic of energetic blueprints.


Honestly, I am not sure anyone else uses this expression the way I do.

So for clarification I want to start by saying that energetic blueprint can refer to 2 things:

– your energetic blueprint, where you usually abide energetically,

– and the energetic blueprint of whatever you try to create or what you are experiencing, the underlying subtle qualities of something.


For the first instance, I shared the example a few months ago of a woman who got a wonderful husband but was unable to cope him. He was a good-looking wonderful man who adored her and she loved him. However she couldn’t believe he was sincere. Therefore she was asking for a divorce.

It sounds crazy but his devoted love freaked her out…

The thing is that this woman had been programmed for struggle, hardship, betrayal throughout her entire life.

Loyalty, honesty, love were outside of her realm, it wasn’t part of her currency of thought, of her emotional language. She couldn’t fathom them.

Energetically she wasn’t equipped to process them, it wasn’t part of her energetic blueprint. Like a wire being mismatched for the electricity going through it, she was getting fried by it. His capacity for giving love exceeded her bandwidth to receive it.


The second way I use energetic blueprint is with regards to a new objective or a new desire.

How many times have you seen someone say they want a new job, only to complain the minute they get the job?

Obviously some people are never happy. But I am not concerned with those. What interests me is people who genuinely want a change, are determined, hard-working, motivated, who truly are ready to do what it takes.

The problem is often that they haven’t taken the time to figure out the energetic blueprint of the job they actually want versus the one of the job they actually get:

– how does the commute feel?

– How does the working environment feel?

– How do the tasks feel?…

It’s easy to get blinded by a title, a salary or some benefits and accept conditions that are actually unsuited for your real needs.

If you tend to be introverted getting a prestigious job in a noisy newsroom might not be such a great idea.

If you tend to be extroverted, a corner office with all its perk might not satisfy your need for interpersonal interactions.

It’s not so much about the goal, it’s about the energy behind the goal.


I once gave this (comical albeit extreme) example of a man who was featured on a show about finding a wife. He had set his mind on a blond wife.

No clear explanation for that, all he knew was that his wife had to be blond.

This turned extreme comical since his attempts at finding love involved approaching any and every single blond woman that came his way, without any regard for age, interests, affinities…

Obviously, he wasn’t really successful in his attempts…

The poor man was really motivated, diligent and strong-willed in his efforts but he had no clarity, no vision, no plan.

He hadn’t felt his way around the marriage or the relationship he wanted: he had no energetic blueprint for it and therefore he was unable to recognize the subtle qualities that composed it.

And on the parallel his desperate attempts at creating connections with random women weren’t aligned with the energy of a confident man who was in a quality relationship with a woman who values him.

His energetic blueprint wasn’t matching his objective and he was scaring women away!

His forceful, strong-willed attempts at finding his wife were being nipped in the bud by the lack of clarity and congruency in the energetics underlying the entire venture.


Like I have mentioned before our physical and material reality is constructed on a more subtile level by energy. Everything emits a frequency and matching frequencies complement and attract each other constantly.

It is as vain to attempt to forcefully reach a new objective with misaligned energetic blueprints as it is to force together 2 similar poles of 2 magnets and hope they stick together.

The energetic alignment must come first otherwise all your strong-willed efforts will be in vain.


All this simply means that you just can’t lay out objectives and plow towards them with sheer willpower and expect to be successful.

First, you will probably soon be exhausted.

Second you might need to double-check your motivations to make sure you’re not running towards a dead-end.

And third, once you are clear on the trajectory there’s probably a smart and faster way to move forward.

Here are some things for you to do:

    1. Make sure that the objective you follow is actually aligned with your deepest emotional needs, your personal values and aspirations.

    Don’t just follow an objective that sounds good because everyone is doing it, because it’s prestigious, because some business guru says you have to go BIG, because you have to prove men that ‘girls do it better’ or whatever other nonsense.

    A lot of people are working around the clock to build prestigious golden cells for themselves. Don’t be one of them!

    2. Be honest with yourself, take stock of where you are in your life, BIG is not always the way to go. Set goals that are aligned with where are in your life and what you can handle at this point and time.

    If you’ve just had massive surgery you may not be as resilient as your normal hyper-fit cross-training self, it doesn’t make you a wimp, it just means you’re recovering. Take that in consideration. And don’t fall for your ego’s competitive BS.

    3. Take stock of where you need to grow. You don’t have to be stuck with a limit bandwidth and sabotage yourself once you reach your dreams.

    If you know you’re aiming for objectives that are way outside your comfort zone, understand what is expected of you once you reach them and make plans to grow yourself accordingly… before you do reach them.

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I am Dominique! I help unfulfilled career ladies who've followed the wrong success blueprint manifest soulful lives. Curious about how I can help you? Learn more here.

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