By STRETCH+BLOOM | On February 28, 2015 In Mindsets
There is an expression that you’re probably using many times each day that is keeping you stuck. It’s one of the most powerful and insidious dream and drive killer.
This expression is ‘I can’t’.
A FIERCE SABOTEUR
Every day I notice people engaged in the most contradictory behaviors.
They say things like:
‘I wish I could lose weight, but I can’t.’
But they subsist on a diet of the most unhealthy and fattening snacks.
‘I hate my life and I need help to figure things out but I can’t afford coaching, it’s so expensive’.
Next you know they are on a fancy vacation half way across the world.
‘I can’t build a business to quit my job, I have 2 kids and I work full time. I don’t just have time’.
But they spend hours each day watching their favorite TV shows.
What’s going on there?
The power of ‘I can’t’.
The wonderful sabotaging power of ‘I can’t’ that has people flip flopping and pushing all sort of excuses about their parents, their upbringing, their resources, their network, their children so they don’t do what they know they must do to live the life they want.
Let me lovingly call BS on that!
IF THEY CAN’T DO IT, WE CAN TOO
Take Oprah. Was she always Oprah?
No! She was a dark-skinned girl born in a racially-prejudiced society in a poor and abusive environment.
Now, she’s Oprah.
A few years ago she was a bartender.
Now only in her mid-thirties she’s the business mentor for women even Richard Branson and Tony Robbins rave about!
My manifestation mentor Kat?
The doctors said she would have to spend the rest of her life in a wheelchair.
When I found her she was a fabulous dancer!
Did they have reasons why it couldn’t be done? You bet they did!
But they did it anyway!
How do they do it?
They didn’t listen to their bs stories. And they went after their dreams re-lent-less-ly.
Now I can hear voices say: ‘but I am not like them, they are extraordinary’.
Yes, exactly! They are.
They were ordinary and then they made the effort to step OUT their comfort zone, OUT of the ordinary, to be MORE than ordinary.
That is it!
Being extraordinary is not so much about having a special gift, it’s about the willingness.
You have to be willing to do what is out of the ordinary.
You have to be willing to step OUTSIDE of your comfort zone.
THE REAL PROBLEM
What we can or cannot do is never final, it’s an ever-moving reality.
We change each day, the limit of what is humanly possible changes each day.
The truth is most often than not ‘I can’t’ is code for ‘I don’t want to’.
It’s about priorities, fear, comfort zone and negative self-talk.
'I can't' is often code for 'I don't want it enough'. Click To Tweet
You’ve probably seen the lines of people camping for a new iPhone.… If there’s a will there’s a way…
The problem is that the will is often tied up to short-term rewards:
‘Yeah, a fancy phone!’
‘Yummy, crispy chips!’
‘Awesome, I am on vacation!’
But these are short-term fixes that don’t get them closer to their deepest needs.
Many people say they want to live their dreams with passion, but they are not ready.
Living with passion is… well, living with PASSION!
There are emotions involved.
Ups and downs.
It can be freaking awesome but it can also be freaking scary at times.
Most importantly it’s challenging.
To get the rewards you have to willing to put yourself on the line.
And let go of the ‘I can’ts’
Coming up part 2: why ‘I can’t’ limits you and what to do instead.
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