By STRETCH+BLOOM | On April 1, 2015 In Dating and relationships, Manifestation
If you’re looking for love I am guessing your routine includes a savvy mix of analogical or digitally-enhanced selection of dates, of carefully designed assets-enhancing outfits, of wise male-entrancing strategies and advices.
In other words, you look hot, you’re on your A-game and your calendar is packed to the brim.
If this you, here’s how you’re doing it wrong.
MEET YOUR SOFT SKILLS
All these things you do to secure dates or establish your relationships are what I call your soft skills.
These are all the superficial aspects of dating: your communication skills, your social skills, all the skills that help you influence things positively in your favor like:
– Enhancing your physical assets: the fab little dress, THE perfect shade lipstick, the pedi…
– Crafting a good online dating profile
– Having strong dating skills: yes, that head-tilt, the killer smile …
– Understanding man psychology
– Practicing man speak: you know Mars and Venus.
– Bedroom skills
Of course these skills are extremely important but their power is limited.
If this is your only strategy you’re missing a big chunk of the puzzle that could make or break your success!
ENTER YOUR DEEP ENERGETICS
What are your deep energetics?
They are a crucial but often disregarded factor in your dating success.
If you were to liken your dating strategy to an iceberg, the soft skills would be the visible tip and the deep energetics would be the massive, submerged and invisible part of the iceberg.
These are all these things about you that enable you to manifest through laws such as the Law of Attraction your experience of life:
– Your beliefs about men
– Your beliefs about relationships
– Your beliefs about scarcity or availability of quality men
– Your dominant thought patterns (ex: optimist/ pessimist)
– Your personal relationship history (divorce, infidelity, success)
– Your family history (negative/ positive relationship models)
– Your environment
– Your clarity of intent
– Your focus (drama/ success)
This power is always at work and it uses your beliefs, your thought patterns and your emotions to automatically deliver to you experiences that resonate with your specific frequency.
Therefore it’s crucial that these deep energetics be atuned to relationship success!
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SOFT SKILLS AND DEEP ENERGETICS IN ACTION
To give you an example:
A gorgeous smart woman with strong soft skills (interesting personality, great at flirting, great lover…) but whose core energetics don’t support a successful relationship (unhealed relationship history, frustrated with men…) will find that everything she tries falls flat until she manages to change her deep energetics.
Depending on her particular internal world, she may attract unavailable men, immature men, dishonest man… or find it hard to find any suitable men at all.
She may often notice a certain pattern.
She could have great starts with men and everytime things are about to get more serious they start having second thoughts, or they have to relocate away from her.
Or she keeps finding herself involved with men that blow hot and cold.
Or she keeps encountering men that are intimidated by her success.
Of course she’ll see what is happening in the relationship as the problem.
And she’ll work on improving her soft skills with new ways to make men stick around, to get them to commit or she’ll concentrate her efforts on finding the secret gathering spot where all the good men are hiding.
Sorry for the image but it’s a bit like putting on deodorant without taking a shower.
It temporarily masks the problem but it doesn’t solve it!
Her dating woes are a symptom of what’s happening in her deep energetics and working on her soft skills is simply masking it. So by the same logic her success will remain elusive.
The cause could be a deep belief, a past experience, some usual thoughts or concerns that she entertains in her mind and get played out over and over again in her life.
Until that cycle is broken on a core, deep energetics level, it will keep playing out again.
This why an average woman who’s not even actively dating could find love much more easily than a serial-dating, flirting-maven bombshell.
The ordinary woman only needs to have strong deep energetics aligned with successful relationship and perfect relationships will fall into her lap automatically even if she apparently does nothing for it.
If you find yourself in cycle of ‘bad luck’ around love, I would suggest that you stop focusing on soft skills for a moment (I am sure you’re super hot and you’re a killer seductress anyway) and that you take a survey of your deep energetics.
What you find there might surprise you!
Photo credit: CC- Ravas51-flickr / edited by S+B