If you are single you’ve probably sat down once and made ‘the perfect man list’. You know, the list of qualities your dream man must have.
For many women the list goes something like this: ´he must be charming, has great sense of humor, solid education, a fantastic career, makes over 6 figures in earnings and 6 ft tall.
This guy sounds like a catch, right?
Whenever I read this, I want to scream. The Perfect Man list is a single woman’s worst enemy!
THE PROBLEM WITH THE LIST
First, a lot of serial cheaters, abusers, and psychos fit this profile.
Women get cheated on or abused everyday by partners who fit exactly into this description. I have seen too many women lower their guard the moment a man has graduated from the ‘ideal’ institution or has the right job title. This is insane!
This type of list is dangerous. It does not provide any criteria to vet whether or not a potential partner is safe to be around with. It assumes an easy-going attitude and a certain social class means safety. A narcissist for example would easily slip through the cracks. If you don’t know anything about narcissists, they are master at appearing like the perfect citizen but beneath the veneer they are very dark and toxic. They are very charming, charismatic, witty, intelligent and worldly. They are also very calculating and cruel. The prototype of someone who will fit into the list perfectly but turn out to be a monster.
So, no the list is not a good vetting system when it comes to safety.
Secondly, the perfect man list is missing a huge chunk of what makes a successful relationship: compatibility in values, personalities, dreams, ideals… You don’t build a solid relationship on a good sense of style and having both gone to a prestigious school. It’s deeper than that.
THE PERFECT MAN LIST IS A TRAP
The list keeps you involved in the wrong guys because the list is not a good vetting system. It does not detail what’s important to initially establish a relationship and then keep the relationship going.
Instead of a perfect man list here’s what I recommend: a relationship blueprint.
A relationship blueprint is a perfect man list on steroids because it’s more precise and more detailed. It helps you weed out the time-wasters and helps you identify better matches. It also helps you tune into who you are, where you are going, the type of relationship you want, what you are willing to give, and what you can expect to get. With a relationship blueprint you can easily identify someone that complements your vision.
Instead of focusing on superficial features, it dives into fundamental relationship dynamics: how you treat each other, how you spend your days, how you grow together…
And because it relies on manifestation you can let your imagination run wild. When you work with a relationship blueprint, you don’t have to worry about how you are going to find this man, all you have to do is use your vibration to attract him. Big difference!
DESIGNING A RELATIONSHIP BLUEPRINT
If you are ready to dump the perfect man list and harness the power of a relationship blueprint, here’s what you need to get clear on.
– Who you are
– Where you are going
– What type of man would fit into your life and grow with you perfectly
If you want to go further, I detail the whole process in Beloved, my coaching program that teaches you how to use the law of attraction to manifest true love. I have a whole chapter dedicated to this step with a training video and some worksheets to guide you along. You’ll get clarity on what constitutes an ideal relationship for you, release or remove old sabotaging patterns that keep you stuck in unfulfilling relationships, and learn a simple step-by-step technique to manifest your Mr Right even if nothing else has worked for you. You can learn more here.
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Edited on July 22nd, 2018