Do you ever have thoughts like: ‘Things would be so sweet I could get a massive promotion’, or ‘life would be perfect if I could land this huge deal or be on Oprah’? Or ‘everything will be perfect once I find Mr Right’?
Even though I am always promoting the idea of striving for more success and reaching for your dreams, today I am going to end the illusion of the perfect life.
BREAKDOWN OR SUCCESS?
I recently was having a conversation with one of the few male that can survive in my pink universe. He was frustrated because he felt that he was constantly experiencing cycles of success followed by breakdowns and felt that something was wrong with him.
When I probed him to take a closer look at his life and look at the results he had been getting, he realized that his life hadn’t really been breaking down, his level of success had been getting bigger!
He was basically having growing pains: he was constantly stepping out of his comfort zone, taking new risks and being challenged to embody greater and higher levels of success.
And that manifested into obsolete systems that showed their limits, habits needing to be updated, limiting beliefs and outdaded self-image needing to be released, friends and associates no longer being aligned with the new vision.
My point is the road to success is challenging.
Success requires that you change, you have to become a different person to get to different results. And the bolder the goals, the more intense the transformation that needs to take place for you to reach it.
No stone will be left unturned!
NEW LEVEL, NEW CHALLENGE.
I was recently listening to a telesummit featuring self-made women millionaires, women about to become millionaire and their mentors. It was a 3 days feast of massive raw and honest introspection.
A lot of them came from really modest means and took massive action towards success. The host Dr Venus Reese came from the streets, got a Stanford Ph.D., before taking her business to the 7 figures mark within a few years! And her guests were of the same caliber.
We’re talking some serious lady mavericks here!
They were spilling the beans on how they got to where they were and what it took to stay there. Not so much discussing tactics as talking psychology, discussing what needed to happen in their minds for them to get there and stay there.
‘How do you manage your money?’
‘How do you get useful feedback when you’re the first in your family to reach this level of success?’
‘How you deal with fear of success? Will your friends and family change and constantly hit you up for cash?’
‘Are your systems able to handle more growth?’
Interestingly some of these women remarked that the grit that got them where they are was preventing them from reaching their next level.
The DIY attitude that got them to bootstrap their business was exactly what caused them to break down when they reach a higher level.
One of them actually drove herself back to the ground to the point where she was on food stamps before she shooting herself back up again to 7 figures!
The consensus seemed to be that the level of success they were now enjoying is a complete other dimension from they where standing before, they could not have anticipated the challenges they are facing now.
Some were experiencing spiritual crises, financial crises, systemic crises, self-worth issues, impostor syndrom. All the nasties!
Now don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that their lives was in shambles. Far from it! These women are some of the happiest, most successful, most fulfilled women walking this earth. And they were all happier now than in their previous lives.
It’s simply that each level of success in life bring its own set of challenges.
EMBRACING THE CHALLENGES
Perfect lives are like blue unicorns: they only exist in our imaginations!
You can have a good life, you can have a happy life, you can have a fulfilled life, but you can’t have a perfect, trouble free life. Every level in life contains challenges, and even if you were ever able to solve all your challenges, life constantly changes and new ones would soon appear.
Hoping for a perfect life is a recipe for disaster. It sets you up for disappointment.
A more empowering way to look at life is to understand that challenges are part of it and be prepared for them.
– Appreciate where you are and what you have accomplished even as you strive for more.
– Become comfortable with change and embrace challenges: they help you grow.
– Learn something new every day.
– Keep challenging yourself every day.
– Mastermind with people who share your goals and can help you bounce off ideas.
– Get mentors who’ve been through it before, who can cover your blind spots and can advice you on areas where you lack expertise.
– Keep upgrading your mentors as you grow.
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Photo credit / edited by S+B