3 Toxic Mindsets That Kill Your Dreams

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Following your dreams is already challenging enough for you not to get in your own way. Since we’re in spring cleaning season, today I am sharing with you 3 toxic mindsets that kill your dreams which you need to release from your life if you want to create your best life.

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We’re in spring cleaning season. Recently, I was telling you about ways to spring clean your life to get out of your rut. Today I want to a go a little bit deeper and explore some specific mindsets tlyiu absolutely need to let go off if you want to achieve your dreams.

Hey, everyone, this is Dominique Andersen. Welcome to StretchandBloom Soundbite where in five minutes or less, I will give you a quick tip to create a life you love.

Alright, let’s dive in.

The first mindset I’ve identified is what I like to call fake positive thinking.

I’m all for positivity, manifestation, taking in all the parameters of an issue, taking inspired action, focusing on the end result and all that. Real positive thinking.

What I’m warning you against is it’s ugly cousin – fake positive thinking. It’s basically not looking at the problem you want to fix and having a half-baked plan. How are you going to get a solution if half the parameters are missing. You add to that with a bit of procrastination, the illusion of grandeur, wishful thinking.

Basically, what’s going on here is either you know you have a problem and you don’t get ready or you’re being incompetent. Either way, you’re headed for trouble.

The difference between the two is very subtle but you have to think about it this way: real positive thinking is driven, energetic, prepared, focused and unshakeable with very strong core beliefs. The fake positive thinking is more about avoidance, escapism. It’s a bit about fear disguised as confidence. Sometimes it’s also incompetence infused with a bit of arrogance.

It’s really important to distinguish both  because one is going to lead you where you need to be and one is going to lead you towards a wall.

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So that’s the first mindset.

Second one is people-pleasing. Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with making people happy as long as you don’t make their happiness a priority before your own happiness and then you lose sight of your dreams. I know so many women who are struggling with this one. I really want to make this one part of the list because people-pleasing is a big no no because it derails you from your life.

You have to think about it this way: the moment you begin to factor in everybody’s vision in your dream, it is no longer your dream, it’s a hybrid of everyone’s dreams. It creates a tug war and it prevents you from actually achieving what you want to achieve.

So here’s what you need to do is you want to spend time knowing yourself. Identify what’s in harmony with yourself and make sure that you only engage with what is in harmony with you and what you want to create.

This leads me to my third point which is having weak boundaries. That goes along with what I was saying before because people who engage in people-pleasing rend to also have weak boundaries. I like to think of boundaries as your immune system. Your immune system’s job is fight viruses. It’s a bit like an angry bouncer.

So imagine if your system was acting like “oh well, it’s a nice virus, I don’t want to hurt it’s feelings”, you know what, you’ll be dead really quickly. It’s the same with your boundaries. It prevents you from getting used, abused, overworked, sidetracked. So you need strong boundaries to protect your dreams. What you have to do is be clear on your dreams and be okay with saying no. You can be gracious about it, but make sure to protect your dreams.

This is it. These were my three mindsets that you need to release if you want to be able to create your dream life. I hope you enjoyed them.

Thank you for listening, if you’ve enjoyed this tip, make sure to join my inner circle. That’s where you’ll get access to all my in-depth tips. To join, got to stretchandbloom.com/innercircle.

 

 

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Dominique
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I am Dominique Andersen. I help unfulfilled successful women reconnect with their soul & create lives that feel as good on the inside as they look on the outside. You can learn more about how I can help you here.