How to tell that you are living someone else's life. (2023)

Last updated on August 30th, 2023.

This is end of the year, the time when we take stock of the previous 12 months. And looking at where you are standing now, you’re not exactly stoked …

Sure, things may look good on the outside and you’ve made progress towards new goals, but something is missing: you’re not fulfilled.

In a way, life seems to just be happening to you and there’s so much unexplored and unexpressed inside of you.

While this is unfortunate, this happens all to frequently. And, the culprit could just be that you are living someone else’s life!

Here are some tell-tale signs:

If you're feeling unfulfilled in spite of your 'successful' life, it could be that you are living someone else's life Click To Tweet

You take your cues from your friends.

You went to the right school, you live in the right neighborhood, you shop at the right stores and you buy the right brands. Your life is magazine-perfect like Charlotte York’s (yes, I am showing my age).

Or is it really?

Did you ever ponder who defined ‘right‘? Was it you or rather your peers and the social norms?

Is this ‘right‘ really good for you? Is it aligned with your soul and your true nature or is it just the latest flavor of social diktat?

You care too much about other people’s opinions.

This is an extension of the previous idea and it’s the logical consequence of following the socially-accepted ‘right‘ way.

There’s a right way to go from A to B, the ‘right‘ way in society often doesn’t have anything to do with logic, common sense or what you should do.
It has to do with acceptance and judgment.

If, deep down, you dream of traveling the world to film documentaries about the cultures of the world so everyone can learn from their wisdom, but you silence your dreams because…

a) It wouldn’t not look right on your resumé.

b) Everyone in your family is a lawyer and that just wouldn’t look right.

c) People would think you’re ‘dropping out’ or losing it.

You are putting your dreams on the back burner to satisfy other people’s ideals. The feeling of belonging may give you a temporary relief.

However, do you really want to belong to group that doesn’t embrace what’s really valuable to you?

Do you really want to belong to group that doesn't embrace what's really valuable to you? Click To Tweet

You’re afraid of standing out.

When I say you’re afraid of standing out, I mean you’re afraid of breaking the mold. Because don’t get it wrong, you can be as fierce as they come in your career if you have to.

That is as long as you are following the script …

If the script requires you to be the fiercest litigator or the highest closing salesperson, you will do it. You will stand in front of the audience, you will give the interview.

And you’ll be brilliant at it: you will perform without flinching!

However, you won’t do it for yourself.

Writing your own script? Standing up for your own dreams?

What is that?

You pretend to be happy.

“I have this beautiful home, I have this beautiful wardrobe, I have a great job, I have a great career, my life is wonderful! What else could I ask for?”

– Doing things that actually feed your soul everyday?

– Waking up excited about the positive impact you are having?

– Not having to prop yourself up with coffee or pills to go to work each day?

We live in a society that has a very skewed notion of success. Most people give their all to become ‘successful’ only to wake up one day to realize that they have the wrong definition of success.

And that even though they have all the external signs of success, they are unhappy.

It takes courage to admit that what you’ve worked so hard for doesn’t actually mean anything to you.
No matter how hard it is though, admitting that you are on the wrong tracks is the first step towards regaining control of your life.

So, have you been living someone else’s life?

Admitting that you are on the wrong track is the first step towards regaining control of your life Click To Tweet

Here’s what you can do…

If you have indeed been living someone else’s life, all is not lost. There’s plenty to do:

The first step is to reconnect with yourself.
The second step is to make a plan to reinvent your life.
The third step is to get to work and make things happen.

Now, this may seem like a tall order, but remember the longer you wait, the farther on the wrong track you will be. If you need to course-correct, it’s best to start as soon as you realize that you’re on the wrong tracks.

Additionally, there are ways to redesign your life without overwhelm. Actually, that’s one of my specialties (you can read my story here). With the right method and the right tools, changing your life can be easy.

This workshop can help you get started on your journey to create a life you’re actually excited about.

And, if you’re looking for a more personalized approach, I am also here for you.

To your happy, fulfilling, new life!