By STRETCH+BLOOM | On May 9, 2018 In Mindsets, Tip
Living an authentic life is an appealing proposition until you start considering what it entails: that’s when fear, this old friend, comes out. Today I want to talk about 5 crucial fears you must overcome if you want to live an authentic life.
5 fears you must overcome if you want to live an authentic life Click To Tweet
1/ THE FEAR OF STANDING OUT
The fear of standing out is the most obvious fear that comes to mind. The moment you choose to live an authentic life you have to embrace what makes you unique and declare to the world: ‘this is who I am’. You can no longer hide in the crowd. You stand out.
You may be a successful litigator well-respected amongst your peers but if secretly you’re craving to carve a life as a musician, you’re going to have to break the mold and stand out from your colleagues to make your dream to come to life.
Growing up we’ve all been taught (especially women) not to make waves, not to get noticed, not to make a fuss. We’ve been programmed to get along at all cost.
The moment you raise your hand and say: ‘I’m different, I exist’, guess what, all that programming comes back to you with a vengeance to try to get you to tow the line. To live an authentic life you must slay this fear.
2/ THE FEAR OF JUDGMENT
A close friend of the fear of standing out is the fear of judgment.
Back in school, we were made to recite poetry in front of the class. There was this long painful moment where you had to walk to the front of the room with all eyes upon you. And once you got in front of everyone: just a sea of eyes, all staring at you. Excruciating!
The fear of standing in front of your peers and being judged is one of our most fundamental fears. Actually, according to statistics many consider public speaking their top fear before death! There’s something incredibly uncomfortable about standing out and exposing yourself to the gaze of the crowd. The whole thing is a bit ridiculous all things considered. It’s not that they will start throwing stones at you or anything, is it…? Or maybe they would…? At least that’s probably how our minds think.
To live an authentic life you will need to get comfortable with the idea of being judged.
This novel hiding in your drawer, if you want to be a best-selling author someone’s going to have to read it. Yes, it’s ready! Yes, it’s good enough! Be brave share your stuff!
Do you have any of these fears? They could prevent you from living an authentic life Click To Tweet
3/ THE FEAR OF FAILURE
Now, that you’ve exposed yourself to the stares of the roaring crowd what’s the worst that could happen? You didn’t die for standing out, no one stoned you to death because your outfit wasn’t trendy so you’re good now, right?! Not quite!
What if you failed? What if your play tanked? What if your business sank? What if your book flopped?
Since being perfect has been drilled into us since we were children, you know that ‘make mummy proud thing’, no wonder we’re all scared of failing.
The problem with this fear is that it keeps you stuck. How did you learn how to walk? You fell on your butt, a lot! How did you learn how to tie your shoe laces? You turned your shoe laces into a bowl of spaghetti. See, society allows us to be little clumpsy, messy, stumbling people for a few years and then all of a sudden, we got to get everything right on the first try.
Well, newsflash, that’s not how learning works. If you want to venture out into the world and live your truth you’re going to have to try new things. This means that sometimes you’ll fail…
Be ok with that, you’re learning!
4/ THE FEAR OF PERSECUTION
If after conquering the crowds and falling on your butt a few times you’re still ready to live a more authentic life, there’s the fear of persecution. Or in modern day vernacular the fear of haters.
You see when you live your truth you’re going to ruffle feathers. Just as someone got mad when you received your degree cum laude while they failed miserably (they hadn’t studied…), there will always be someone threatened by your newfound free-thinking ways when step up to live an authentic life. In doubt, just ask Galileo what going again the grain cost him…
The thing is you can’t hide who you are because others will be made to feel uncomfortable when you shine. You don’t have to be inconsiderate either so don’t be obnoxious about your success.
That former colleague can sneer at you behind your back and hate you for living the life of your dreams. They had a chance at it too but they choose to hide. Your success didn’t come for free, celebrate and ignore the haters!
You can't hide who you are because others will be made to feel uncomfortable when you shine and live an authentic life. Click To Tweet
5/ THE FEAR OF SUCCESS
You’ve climbed mountains, overcome fears after fears and you thought you were done. Nah! There’s one last big looming fear to conquer: the fear of success! ´The fear of success? Why? I’ve done all this to be successful, I’m not afraid of success. Are you sure?’
Have you ever pretended not to have succeeded not to hurt a friend’s feeling? Maybe like hiding a raise when they didn’t get one? You were trying to hide your achievements, weren’t you?
Success is a strange beast: we want to celebrate but we don’t want to seem to brag, we want to enjoy the fruits of our labor but having more financial freedom might mean that you’ll leave some friends behind. And as they say with every new level come new devils.
Success can be bittersweet and challenging. Be prepared for that.
Success can be frightening, but don't let this stop you from living an authentic life. Click To Tweet
If after reading all this you still eager to step out of your shell, show your true colors, publish that novel, share your art, open your business, conquer the world, you’re a true champ. Celebrate: you have a strong mind that will help you navigate the murky waters leading to live an authentic life! And if you’d like some help while you slay those fears, schedule a call. I’ll be honored to support you on your journey.
To live an authentic life you must overcome those fears. Click To Tweet
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