What to do when you’ve climbed the wrong ladder

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What can you do when you’ve climbed the wrong ladder for year? What can you do when you realize that your ladder was leaning against the wrong wall?

It seems to be a recurring topic these days.

You start out as a young and ambitious woman with stars in her eyes. You see yourself writing your name in bold letters in the world, leaving a BIG legacy.

You apply yourself, you work hard in hopes of climbing the ladder and getting ‘there’.

As you move forward, the rewards start coming: a better wardrobe, a bigger home, a nicer car. Your life is starting to look good.

At least on paper…

 

Inside, it’s a different story.

All the fancy toys you surround yourself with slowly start to lose their appeal.

The stress of your high-octane life catches up with you and wrecks havoc in your personal life.

And last but not least, you begin to question if you even care about the work do or if you just appreciate the way it flatters your ego.

 

Who would have thought that success would leave such a sour taste in your mouth?

You feel empty and don’t know what to do.

 

You could either pretend everything is fine and keep going as you have so far.

Deep down you know this is long-term suicide.

If you feel this way now, you don’t even dare to imagine how bad things would be 10, 15 or 20 years from now.

Not an option!

 

On the other hand, what else can you do?

You’ve spend so much time, energy, money building this life. And it’s also very financially rewarding.

You can’t just throw it all away, can you? And to do what?

Tough.

Actually there are few things you can do

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climbing the wrong ladder quote

1. Gain clarity

As tough as it may be to hear you didn’t climb the wrong ladder by chance. You’ve may have been mislead or made certain mistakes along the way that took you on the wrong path.

If you don’t understand how you got in your present situation, you run the chance of reproducing the same scenario in the future.

It’s probably painful enough as it it, I am sure you’d want to spare further disappointment down the line…!

Some tips:

– Go back into your past and figure out what made you climb the wrong ladder. 

– Reconnect with the young starry-eyed, ambitious woman and ask yourself why she got lost.

– Try to identify the turning point: the moment when things flipped, the moment when you leaned your ladder against the wrong wall.

That is the first step in rectifying the situation.

VIP bonus:
Looking for a short-cut for this step? I have made a quick training video that shares some of the common mistakes smart, ambitious women in your situation have made and give you some direction to fix them.
Gaining clarity is the 1st step to get back on the RIGHT ladder. Click To Tweet

2. Make a decision

At this point there are 2 options: either you stay in your miserable glossy life or you make changes. 

Either option has its advantages and its inconveniences.

Staying put doesn’t require much effort, your life will probably go on as it has without disruption. Only, you will lead a life of glossy desperation and regret for many years to come.

Making changes will probably require efforts, it may affect your relationships, your living standards (although it doesn’t have to happen if you plan smartly).
I do have a couple of powerful tools to dramatically minimize the disruption, but truth be told you’ll probably be up for a ride.
The huge benefit is that you can look forward to many years of passion, fulfillment and happiness ahead of you.

That’s where you have to decide what’s more important to you:

  • abandoning all hope of a fulfilling life
  • or making sacrifices to give yourself a better future.

This decision is key because you’ll need a strong why to do what needs to be done should you decide to make changes.

There’s no right and wrong way here, there’s only what’s appropriate for you and what you have the strength to handle or not.

If you choose to stay in your situation, there isn’t much to do but to accept your fate.

If you have decided to make changes (which is probably why you’re reading this article in the first place) then keep reading.

3. ‘I have climbed the wrong ladder. Is it too late?’

That’s a question that often comes up when addressing this topic. That might also be one that’s floating in your mind right now.

Now as much as I would like to answer with a resounding yes, I shall instead answer with a ‘yes and no.’

The truth is: 

Some activities come with an age deadline: you can’t play junior league when you are senior. 
However it doesn’t mean that you can’t play. It only means that you have to play a different game.

  • 50 and need a new start? No one seems eager to hire you?

While it may be harder to get hired in your 50s, you can certainly leverage all your years of expertise as a high-level consultant.

  • 40 and regret never having given modeling a shot?

You can always become the face of young mature women.

Not that I am implying that becoming a model will put an end to your career woes. I am simply trying to convey the idea that you might have to be creative and position yourself smartly to make what could work against work for you.

 

In other words, you may have to adapt your plan to fit where are in life but it certainly doesn’t mean that you have to put draw a line through your pursuit of happiness.

I have been in position where I was too young to get the dream job and I still got it.

There are many people who were on paper too old for the job, they got it too.

It’s never too late (or too early!) to pursue happiness, if you are breathing keep trying. Just be aware that your ultimate fulfillment may look different than what you have been taugh to imagine.

climbed the wrong ladder quote

4. Make a plan

Now, I am going to issue huge warning here: this is a step most people get wrong, especially type-A, over-achiever, go-getter personalities.

A huge to-do list, hundreds of late-nights, gallons of coffee and massive action will not fix your life! 

And if you dive right-back into huff-and-puff action-taking mode before the right safe-guards you risk to climb the wrong ladder all over again. 

The point here is not to panic and go for the first quick fix and sprinkled a heavy dose of can-do attitude. 

It’s not about tapping your network to figure out who is hiring and who offering the best benefit package. 

It’s not about getting retrained to jump on the new trendy career.

It’s not about starting a coaching practice or building a six-figure business.

Basically it’s not about finding the new turnkey ‘success’ formula (that will probably turn out to be another diversion…) 

This is about creating a bespoke life tailored to your innermost need!

This is why you should never start making concrete plans before by:

  • Reconnecting with yourself

You need to be clear on who you truly are, to know what you truly need.

  • Soul-searching

A superficial look at your situation will only yield a superficial solution, you need a deep-dive to create lasting positive change.

  • Redefining success and setting the right goals

If your definition of success lead you to climb the wrong ladder, you will probably need to reevaluate how you define success and update your goals accordingly.

  • Considering taking a retreat

I am sure you are busy and you don’t have time to waste. Retreats are a great way to soul-search, plan and strategize in a short amount of time. This is certainly a tool to consider in your situation.

  • Putting it all-together and reinventing yourself

This is where all the preliminary steps and your soul-searching turn into a concrete plan. 

This is also where address and neutralize all the obstacles, fears, doubts, sabotaging patterns, shortcomings that may hinder you and create a leveraged action plan that doesn’t drive you into the ground.

5. My secret weapon

I do realize that totally changing your life sounds like a huge ordeal, especially after such a devastating realization as having climbed the wrong ladder. However, it really doesn’t have to be this way. 

I discovered many year ago that there are laws in the universe that help us reach our objectives faster. It’s a bit like sailing with or against the wind

A lot of us, tough-cookie over-achiever weren’t taught anything except hard work, in other words sailing against the wind.

Hard work is great, it certainly builds ethics and character. It’s not always the most leveraged way though. 

You can also sail with a tailwind by tapping into these universal laws which dramatically speed things up.

To give you an idea, read this to learn what happened the first time I tried this to turn my life around.

This is a technique I use all the time.

And this is also the technique I recommend that you use if you’ve realized that you’ve climbed the wrong ladder and you need to start over. 

After all you’ve already invested so many years in build your life, you certainly do not have years to waste to course-correct. You need tools that help you find your sweet spot with the minimum amount of disruption … and as fast as possible.

This is exactly what this does!

The shortcut

Hopefully these tips inspired you and gave you hope that even though you’ve climbed the wrong ladder, all wasn’t doomed. You can turn things around. However, you may be left with many questions regarding how to apply them concretely.

That’s where I can help you!

I have put together a range of programs designed to help women in your situation: successful, smart, driven women who got side-tracked and lost sight of their happiness.

Whether you need to make small adjustments or completely start over, these programs will help you find your bliss.

Over the years, I have reinvented myself many times and I have developed an unusual set of tools and strategies to pivot fast. This is what I share in these offers.

I understand you are busy and this a lot to take in. That’s why I have designed these offers to walk you through each step of the process without having to come up with insightful questions or wonder if you are doing things the right way. All you have to do is show up and follow the prompts.

I have used these tools for 20+, they are time-tested and they deliver. I am sure they can help you.

To get started:

– If you are looking for self-paced solution with minimum support, these offers are for you.

– If you are looking for a completely done-for-you, high-touch approach, these offers are for you.

In any case, know that climbing he wrong ladder is not the end of your life. It may be actually be a ‘blissing’ in disguise if you k ow how to look at it.

The pain you feel right now is a symptom, a clear sign that something in your life is misaligned. However, it’s also telling me that there’s a better life is waiting just around the corner for you.

Don’t be the only thing standing between you and your happiness. Do something today to get back on the right track!

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Edited July 23rd, 2019

Dominique
Bienvenue!

I am Dominique Andersen. I help unfulfilled successful women reconnect with their soul & create lives that feel as good on the inside as they look on the outside. Coach with me 1-on-1 or enroll in a workshop.