By STRETCH+BLOOM | On October 28, 2014 In Dating and relationships
When this video on catcalls in NYC popped in my Twitter feed, as a woman who hates catcalls, I was in shock.
I have endured catcalls since I have been about 12 years old (that was a loooong time ago…).
Especially when I used to travel to certain places where it takes endemic proportion.
And the things I have experienced have been really abusive: tongue action, crotch-grabbing action and even going to the extent of insulting my ex-husband while harassing me…
You name it: I have heard it and experienced it.
Some of the looks I got just made me want to run to the nearest shower and scrub for days.
Really gross and traumatic.
But this is video really shocked me.
It’s a video of a women who walks the streets of NYC with a hidden camera filming the attention she receives from men.
The video started and there were some: ‘How you’re doing today?”, ‘What’s up beautiful, have a good day!”, “Hey what’s up girl, how you’re doing?”, “How are you doing this morning”, “Have a nice evening!”.
All said by men going about their business not really motioning in the direction of the woman or looking like they intended to take the conversation further.
Even with my extreme catcall aversion I could see that these were just compliments and well wishes.
Not always refined, can be annoying but certainly not ill-meaning or disrespectful.
Then there were the real creeps:
“God bless you mami”, “damn” said with the most lustful full-body scan you could imagine.
Or the guy who walked besides her for 5 minutes.
This video and the comments that followed shocked me because what I saw was symptomatic of a deeper situation: the deep strain in the relationship between men and women, where women are so angry at men that they can no longer distinguish between a compliment and a case of abuse.
What kind of society do we live in when saying ‘have a nice day!” to someone is considered harassment?
Where is our humanity?
It seems like the motto of some women when it comes to men is wrong-wrong-wrong, punish- punish-punish.
Men must be perfect, and witty, and smart, and proper, and never skip a beat or fear jail time.
No wonder there’s a single women epidemic.
A lot of men can’t be bothered and honestly if I were a man I wouldn’t either.
In fighting to prevent wrongs, we keep going out of balance and we’re totally losing our sense of connection and our openess.
We’ve closed the space to magic, to life and to the unexpected.
Everything must be contractual, sterile and pre-defined.
And then women complain there’s no romance.
Where is the space for romance?
There’s a wall of anger, fear and self-righteousness.
No space for dialogue or playfulness.
When I was growing up in France there was this ad about a guy who was so moved by a woman that he got her flowers.
You know, the French romantic way.
These days he’d probably be sued…
Am I saying you will find love by starting a conversation with every man who talks to you in the street?
What I am saying is that you have to able to receive well-wishes and compliments for what they are if you want a chance to find love and let magic happen to you.
If you’re ready to let go of the negative mindsets that prevent you from finding love, I have created a program that shows you how to clean up your vibration to attract your Mr Right. You might want to check it out!