One of the most misunderstood idea when it comes to personal development is being positive.
It’s quite baffling to watch people deal with crisis after crisis and continue on the same path without ever changing course. They will point out the flaws in others, point out their bad luck, expound on all their efforts. They will talk about faith and hope, and how one needs to be positive.
But they will never do the one thing that would bring them different results: change!
It seems that we have positive thinking confused with walking around with your head in the sand and ignoring the signs that life sends us to guide us on a better path.
Today we’ll take a look at some of those signs and look at how they speak to us.
Too positive: the job from hell
There’s no other way to put it: your boss is a high ranking officer in hell, every aspect of the work makes you cringe, most days sticking a needle under your nails would seem more appealing than going to work.
Basically you hate your job. But still you continue and you lull yourself with the idea that it’s not that bad, at least you have a job and the pay is ok so you shouldn’t complain really.
Too positive: the casting error
You’re the artist trapped in the banker’s body, the baker trapped in the lawyer’s body or the author trapped in the travel journalist’s body. From the outside you have a great career that everyone envies, you have prestige, perks, money but it’s not for you. This is not where your soul is.
You’re dying to spend your days lost in your creative endeavors but the demands of the job make it impossible for you to truly give your passion the attention it deserves. But you tell yourself that at least it’s safe, that changing path is not easy, you should be grateful for what you have.
Too positive: prince-no-so-charming
Everything started like a fairy tale, except for the times when he didn’t return your calls, the time when he called you by your best friend’s name, the time when he disappeared for 2 weeks without an explanation or the time when he completely lost it and screamed at you.
‘Well, maybe ok, it wasn’t a perfect fairy tale, but we’re good and everybody is human, and he’s so cute and I love him.’
Too positive: best foe forever
Your best friend is always calling you when hells breaks lose in her life… which means every day. She often forgets her wallet and asks you to cover for her claiming she’ll pay you back later. She never does. If you ever call her to talk about what’s on your mind, she’s always too busy or redirects the conversation on her.
It’s true your relationship is not ideal, but you’ve known each other since kindergarden so that’s how it is, you know…Are you being too positive for your own good? Click To Tweet
What’s wrong with these situations?
It’s true, you may have invested a lot into your present situation whether it was time and money for your studies or years into a relationship or a friendship.
It’s true that people may be expecting a lot from you, you may have been the first in your family to have gone to college for instance.
It’s true that change does make a mess: leaving an unfaithful or abusive partner is never a walk in the park.
But if you are not fully satisfied and it’s your job to do something to improve things.
The cost of the status quo
Women especially tend to be risk averse and a lot of them would rather hold to what they know, even if it’s a sinking ship then take action to improve their situation.
However sometimes a small risk is a better choice than the perceived safety of a situation that’s headed down the wrong way.
Life experiences are here to guide us, they let us know what we should be doing.
If you let things run their course without heeding the signs, stress and frustration will eventually get to our health. Or one day you may walk on your prince not-so-charming and your best foe getting cosy together. Worse, he may lose his temper again but this time things could turn violent.
It’s important to get clear on the fact that things don’t get better by themselves. And if they are not ideal and don’t feel so good, there are high chances that they could get worse.Things don't improve by themselves, they improve when you do things differently. Click To Tweet
What to do instead
Our culture sees symptoms as something to be suppressed, not something to be understood. However every situation in our lives can be a gift that us guide us to what really works for us as long as we know how to truly be positive.
Being positive is not sitting on a pile of dirt and calling it a pile of gold.
Being positive is about understanding where you stand, deciding on a better outcome, working yourself towards it with the firm belief that things will improve as a result of your actions.
So instead of pretending you don’t feel the tension or the frustation, you probably should leave the dodgy prince charming, or make plans to change career if you feel so strongly about it.
If you find yourself being a little too ‘positive’ for your own good, here’s what you can do:
1. Take a honest look at your situation
2. Get clear on what doesn’t work for you
3. Decide what you want to experience instead
4. Lose the excuses
5. Tap into your courage
3. Do what you know you should be doing instead.
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