Ah the joy of the Superwoman syndrome…
Being a strong, smart, capable woman comes with a certain sense of pride: you’re resourceful, you can to handle it all, you’re the rock everybody comes to when they need help.
Always being in Superwoman mode is certainly flattering but it can also be very draining: in a way you’re always on the edge.
And it certainly is not the most glamourous way to live.
In the words of Maya Angelou: ‘surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.’
Today we’ll look at 3 ways for you to overcome Superwoman syndrome and lead a more elegant life.
Overcoming Superwomen syndrome Tip #1: Putting yourself first!
Before we even go further, let me clarify this: I do not mean to say you should be selfish, haughty or callous.
No encouraging diva fits here!
Sorry, wrong blog…
I am coming from the perspective of the Superwoman who puts everybody else’s needs first: the children, friends and family, community, boards, work:
- That woman with the crazy-busy schedule.
- That woman who has time for everyone but herself.
- That woman who feels guilty when she takes a 2 minutes bathroom break.
This is not about selfishness, this is about balance.
As I mention in my 21 day challenge, you can’t thrive when you’re depleted.
After a while, you can’t even live up to your big ideals, you no longer have the bandwith or the patience.
Hello cranky mama! Hello snappy best-friend…! This is not how you were intending to make a difference, I believe.
You cannot be your best self when you run on empty. Do the world a favor, make sure to carve some space in your life for yourself.
'Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.' M. Angelou Click To Tweet
Setting boundaries
Do you recognize yourself in this?
Squeezing a last minute meeting on the evening when you had a date night to see your favorite singer?
- ‘Sure, I’ll stay. Not a problem.’
Accepting a huge file that comes in on friday night with a monday morning deadline when you had plans for a family weekend?
- ‘I didn’t have anything special planned. Not a problem!’
Taking your tablet to bed to finish one more crucial update for your business?
Ok, that one is me… Hey, we are all growing here!
Stressed-out mode should not be your default mode
In career or business, things sometimes call for a push and you do have to suck it up and go the extra mile. However when it becomes a habit or a way of life, then it becomes a matter of boundary.
There’s no need to be resentful or to become jealous of your colleage who always gets off early, or your best friend who has so much time for her family, it’s about your own choices and what you are willing to accept.
Whether your lack of boundaries comes from you being uncomfortable speaking up, or you being completely passionate about what you do, you are still in control and you have the power to change things.
While it may not be possible to change things right away, pay attention to where your Superwoman syndrome is sucking you to deliver more than you can comfortably handle and start drawing limits.
Being more leveraged
Yes, I know it kind of feels empowering to pull out the power drill, crank up some girl power bouncy tunes and put up a set of shelves like a modern in-de-pen-dent woman who can handle her sh*t and doesn’t need any help.
However is that really the best use of your time and energy?
There’s a point where independence turn into a liability: that’s when you’re exhausted, depleted, and you’re doing things you have no business doing in the first place i.e. things other people can do better than you!
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of wits: leveraging the strength of others to get where you want to go faster. Again, not from a place of greed, but from a space of cooperation!
For example, I have a mean power drilling game, but when shelves need to go up you can bet that my sweetheart will be on it. He’s taller than me, he has bigger arms than me, and he loves doing it.
It’s just easier.
Why stress to prove that I can do it as well as he can?
Smart ladies are team players.
I know you’re strong and you can handle it but are you coping or are you thriving?
It can feel good to be the fighter, the survivor, the Superwoman, however make sure that it doesn’t get in the way of you really living your purpose fully.
Plus honesly, the frazzled look doesn’t really look good on you, so it might just be time to turn around and start building your team so you can really thrive and look like your best gorgeous self.
3 ways to overcome Superwoman syndrome. Click To Tweet
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Edited July 19th, 2019
