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    • How to take back control of your life

      how to take back control of your life
      how to take back control of your life
      Ready to take back control? Get this FREE workbook to work through the steps outlined in this post.

      June is here and summer is around the corner.

      Yeah, for the long and sunny days!


      More seriously, it also means that we’re getting close to the mid-year mark: the perfect time to take stock of what you’ve achieved so far.

      You’ll be able to forge ahead with even greater speed if you’re doing great.

      Or you can course-correct, if you’ve gone off-course.

      This way you won’t wake up at the end of year feeling like a failure when you realize that yet another year has gone by and you’re no were closer to living the life of your dreams.


      Now, if the survey of your year so far leaves you feeling like you’ve somehow let life happen to you, don’t despair.

      Here are a few ideas to put you back in the driver’s seat and take back control of your life.


      1. ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU’VE LOST CONTROL

      We may not like to hear it, but most of us are programmed. We live on auto-pilot.

      We have been programmed by our parents, our schools, our countries, our peers, our TVs, our music, our movies, our celebrities, you name it…

      Our subconscious sucks everything we are exposed to like a sponge and this becomes part of our being.

      Unless we break this transe, we are controlled by a set of cues that tell us what to do, what to wear, what to watch, what to sing, who to emulate.


      Sounds harsh but you’ve probably noticed this:

      A few magazine headlines promote the maxi skirt and within a few days you can no longer find one on the store racks, even though they had been laying there ignored for months.

      A few celebs start sporting bangs. And soon enough everybody starts channelling Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction.

      That’s the programming in action.



      Unless we break this transe, we are controlled by a set of cues that tell us what to do, what to wear, what to watch, what to sing, who to emulate.


      In a way, this is good as it allows us to connect with each other.

      That Whitney or Nirvana song you used to listen to ties you to people who shared the same experience at the time and creates a feeling of belonging to something.

      Through common references you get a sense of social identity.


      However, taken so far that you become a blank slate, fully malleable and completely oblivious to your own inner motives and drives, trouble starts.

      Just because fashion says ‘mustard’ is the new black’ this season, it doesn’t mean that you really like mustard or that mustard even suits you.

      If you were to follow fashion blindly, you would go against your own best interest.


      Granted, it’s probably not a bit deal if you’re wearing the wrong color for your skin tone.

      It’s however a little more problematic when you enter a career or start a business without giving it full thought just because the title sounds good or to impress your peers.


      While it’s not exactly pleasant to wake up one day feeling that you’ve been sleep-walking through your life, it can actually be quite empowering.


      This puts you in the driver’s seat, in the position to make the necessary changes to create a life that actualy lights up your soul.


      So as painful as it is, if you feel that you have lost control you’ll probably find it very beneficial to take a hard look at your life and identify what thoughts and ideas actually belongs to you and which ones are acquired, socially conditioned tastes and beliefs.

      With my clients, we spend quite a lot of time on this as it’s a crucial step to become more empowered, so take your time there.


      2. DON’T STAY STUCK IN YOUR HEAD. FEEL!

      At this point it’s so easy to fall into another trap and get stuck in your head.

      You know, when all these questions that arises when you start questionning your life and instead of gaining more clarity you actually get more confused.

      – What’s my purpose?

      – Do I really enjoy engineering or was I just trying to prove that women are just as smart as men?

      – Am I really interested in becoming a yoga teacher or is it just my way to escape this hellish law firm?

      A great trick here is to get out of your head and connect with your feelings.



      The body is pretty amazing.

      In its own way it is always communicating with us. It’s just that we’re not really good at listening.


      Instead of popping a pill next time you feel a headache at the end of a long meeting, ask yourself: ‘what is this feeling telling me?’.

      You may just realize that as much as you try to convince yourself that you’re totally fine with meetings that start at 9pm and finish late in the night because that’s the way you build a successful career, your body doesn’t really enjoy.

      And its way of letting you know is a splitting headache.

      Don’t ignore your body and your feelings, they’re guiding you back on track!


      I have put together a workbook to help you take back control. Click here to download your FREE workbook

      3. SHUT IT ALL DOWN

      Even more effective although more ambitious is the idea of spending time in silence.

      This is probably going to be a tough one if you live the regular crazy-busy modern Superwoman life.

      But it’s dreadfully efficient.


      If one of the main reasons our lives go off-course is that we’re distracted and programmed by societal influences, the solution is simple although quite radical: cut down on the distractions and on the external influences.

      This way you can actually get to hear yourself and see who you truly are once you remove external triggers.



      If one of the main reasons our lives go off-course is that we’re distracted and programmed by societal influences, the solution is simple although quite radical: cut down on the distractions and on the external influences.


      Ideally a silent retreat to unwind, relax or meditate would be the perfect way to reset yourself, but if that’s not an option there are ways.

      You can start by leaving your phone at home for a couple of hours, go on a walk without your mp3 player, or avoid checking your emails first thing in the morning.

      You can also shut down some browser tabs and avoid multi-tasking.

      Generally speaking turn the TV off (or throw it out…), cut down on the movies and the series for a while, cut down on the music, avoid the news.


      As mentioned before, your subconscious is highly suggestible so everything you expose yourself to will become part of you, that goes for fictional characters, movie plots, song lyrics.

      If you want to discover your own thoughts, stop feeding yourself other people’s thoughts.



      Be more present in your day to day life.

      By doing this you will be able to hear your thoughts and reconnect with that voice that’s truly yours.

      And once you’ve reset yourself and tuned back into your own self, you will be more empowered to take back control of your life.


      This is the end of part 1 of this article. In part 2 I’ll talk about you can get back on track now that you have pressed the reset button on your life.

      To go further make sure to download your FREE workbook to help you apply those tips in your own life.


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